If you have a penchant for spanking or being spanked, you’ve most likely wondered at one time or another where that desire comes from. It’s usually an inexplicable sense of shame and embarrassment that causes us to consider why we enjoy something we should abhor.

The answer I suspect is an incredibly intricate and complex one with a web of possible reasons, like gossamer strands, each meaningless alone but significant when joined together. The answer that a lot of people lean towards is that a spanking returns the recipient to the safety and structure of their childhood; that it’s the discipline itself to which the recipient is attracted as opposed to the sensations. At first glance, there seems to be some Freudian reason in there.

But I was never spanked as a child. My childhood was filled with freedom and reason. When my father was angry, he explained why he was angry. He talked to me, he never once hit me. As such, the faux-Freudian reasoning mentioned above falls down in my case, and probably in many other cases too. So from where does my attraction to spanking come? Why, having never been spanked as a child, do I arrogantly consider myself an authority enough on spanking to be writing about it for a living?

Why does this appeal?

So is it the sensation? There’s no doubt that a few hard smacks on the buttocks begin to bring the nerve endings to life and bristle with warmth. For some, the sensation alone is enough to keep them coming back for more, and they’re content to simply embrace the sensations without giving the psychology a second thought. The initial surge of pain causes endorphins to be released into the bloodstream. Endorphins are opioids and, like the related opium poppy, help to induce a profound sense of wellbeing and floatiness. Some identify this exact feeling with the vague term “subspace”, incidentally, and it’s this feeling that appeals to some spankees.

For some though, the humiliation is cathartic. It’s common for a submissive to invent a scenario for which they feel they deserve to be spanked, and by being spanked they are actually exorcising some guilt or mistake of their past. One can’t help thinking of Catholic martyrs being flogged to atone for the sins of mankind, or a nun wearing a celice as a reminder of their Lord’s suffering.

One account of a female submissive is particularly telling. She recounts that she invents a scenario for which she deserves punishment – the example she gives is when she “forgets to use vouchers while shopping online,” and she tells us that once the spanking is finished “that’s when the enjoyment starts. I enjoy feeling punished.” One suspects that she’s absolving herself of some perceived sin or sins from her past, though that’s a little unfair without more information.

The book ‘Real Confessions Of A London Spank Daddy’ provides another example of the exorcism of guilt. “Jenny had a huge guilt trip that stemmed from a time when her child ran into the street because she wasn’t paying attention. A neighbour had to bring him back. After our session, she said she felt marvellous and her guilt had disappeared.” The child was fine incidentally, but the guilt over the possible outcome of that situation had haunted Jenny and she sought punishment, a case in which spanking was clearly very cathartic.

That book goes on to detail women who have sought spanking to help them lose weight, quit smoking and stop spending on their credit cards.

But still, I suspect a submissive’s attraction to spanking is deeper, psychological. Any woman I’ve ever met who takes spanking seriously relates a similar experience: their earliest childhood fantasies involved feeling helpless, being at the mercy of something or someone more powerful. In one of the most vivid accounts I’ve ever read, Kate Marley’s Subtext relays her juvenile desire to be Maid Marion, to be bound and spanked, and she believes that fantasy was formative for her. I can personally relate to that; my own early submissive fantasies were heavily influenced by a prison scene in Bravo Two Zero.

This is by no means an exhaustive or comprehensive analysis of the reasons we enjoy spanking; that particular work should be left to serious academics. But it is at least enough to be of comfort to those feeling lost or confused, to those wondering “why do I enjoy being spanked?”

You might feel alone, but you’re not. Whatever your reasons or collection of reasons, whatever motivates you to be spanked, you’re perfectly normal and the confusion you might feel has been felt by countless of millions of spankees before you.