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Featured

Posted on November 27, 2011 by Pechorin

Hello, and welcome to Spanking.co.uk, the UK’s latest and greatest destination for spanking information, spanking pictures and spanking equipment!

Right now, this site is still in its early stages, but check back regularly to see what’s new. We’ll be featuring guest writers, competitions, giveaways, spanking photography, product reviews and so much more. More than you can shake a paddle at, in fact.

So come back soon to see what’s new at Spanking.co.uk, because nothing says “I love you” like an open palm…

*Spank spank*

When Spanking Goes Wrong

Posted on February 19, 2012 by Pechorin

Most of us have been there at one time or another but, in the same way we like to boast about sexual successes and never discuss sexual failures, we never talk about those times when spanking goes wrong.

Sometimes, it just doesn’t feel… right. Other times an inaccurate strike can break the mood, or a poorly considered comment can bring the spankee back “up” – again, killing the mood. Sometimes the spanker might be too hard or too soft or too fast or too slow, and if a spanking is “too” anything then it’s no good. Sometimes the aftercare might be bungled, or the recipient might not have been warmed up sufficiently.

In short, spanking is a fine balance of different contributing factors, and like the recipe for a beautiful meal, it only takes an error with one or two of the ingredients for the entire menu to be ruined.

I’m not ashamed to say that this has happened to me more than once; we learn from our mistakes. I’ve found though that when I’ve got it wrong, it’s usually because I’m with a new partner and I’ve become acclimatised to a previous partner. Every spankee is different – for example, I had a play partner who liked to be chastised and scolded while she was spanked, and when I moved to a new partner she told me that she found my talking very distracting. I can actually relate to that; I sometimes find a vocal sub distracting.

What Can Cause A Spanking To Go Wrong?

Have you ever spanked someone or been spanked just for the sake of it? Perhaps, for example, Friday night rolls around and that’s the night you and your partner generally indulge your kinks a bit more than usual. So, even though you’re not really in the mood, you start to play. Perhaps he pulls you across his knee and begins to spank you but, for whatever reason, your heart and your head are not really in it, so you’re not as communicative or responsive as he needs you to be. Therefore, he can’t read you effectively, and the spanking is a bit of a damp squib as a result.

This can be for any number of reasons. Sometimes external pressures (work, family, etc) can make you feel like you’re just going through the motions.

One thing that seems apparent though is that when a spanking goes wrong, it’s almost always the spanker’s mistake and rarely the spankee’s. It’s up to the Dom to get things right, to recognise when things aren’t going well, top address the issues and take action. Even if that action involves the Dom stopping proceedings early, that’s better than prolonging an unsatisfactory and unfulfilling spanking. In fact, as long as the Dom’s action is confident and decisive, he can usually salvage the situation

It’s usually the spanker who gets things wrong, not the spankee. Sure it takes two to tango, but the spanker is in control of the situation and so it falls at his or her feet to make sure things go well. Sometimes it’s this pressure itself that causes us to make mistakes. As a burgeoning young Dom, I was often too timid and lacked confidence and experience to know how to handle it when things were not going well.

How Do You Behave When It Goes Wrong?

While it is generally the Dom’s job to address any issues that arise during a spanking, a sub’s behaviour is important. Most important of all is good communication. If you, as a submissive, don’t feel right being spanked for any reason at all, then say so. It’s better to cut a scene short than prolong the dissatisfaction, especially if you can sense that unusual awkwardness that occurs inexplicably sometimes.

If you’re a Dom and you know things aren’t going well, I genuinely advise you to cut your losses and either attend to your sub affectionately, or move onto something different entirely. If you persist at a spanking that you know isn’t going well, it can end in frustration for both of you.

How To Avoid Spankings Going Wrong

Luckily, there are things you can do to prevent things going seriously wrong. The most important thing id communication, and this is the advice I most often find myself offering: a good D/s relationship is based on good communication and that should permeate every aspect of the relationship.

If you’re a Dom and things and a spanking is failing (perhaps you notice your sub grimacing and clearly not enjoying herself), then it’s up to you to turn things around. Stroke her hair, soothe her, explain to her in graphic detail exactly why she deserves her spanking. Tell her exactly what you plan to do to her before you do it; in short, talk her down, talk her into the mood.

If you’re the recipient, speak up. Just because you’re submissive doesn’t mean you’ve forfeited the right to be an active part of the scene. If you can tell your Dom is struggling, tell him or her how you want it.

And remember, spanking isn’t always plain sailing. Things distract and muddy the water, it happens to all of us. Don’t feel bad afterwards; be rational and talk through the problem and what caused it. That’s a good way to prevent it happening again.

Young dominant men: make sure you’ve done your homework. As a general rule, it’s better to be too firm than too soft if your partner has expressed an interest in being spanked.

Keira Knightley Spanked In A Dangerous Method

Posted on February 14, 2012 by Pechorin

We could only resist talking about Keira Knightley being spanked in her new film for so long. A number of spanking enthusiasts and bloggers far more qualified to talk on the subject than your current author have talked about it with tongues out and in breathless, panting tones but, if you’ll excuse my arrogance, they’re missing the point.

The film is called A Dangerous Method and charts the relationship between Sigmund Freud and Karl Jung – so you can expect it to be a very high brow affair and not simply a throwaway pretty-girl-spankfest. It deserves far more credit and understanding than it will probably receive, simply because Keira Knightley is gorgeous (subject to personal preference). That’s why I feel people have the wrong attitude to the film so far; it’s intellectual. It’s more Secretary than Spanking Schoolgirls 3 (which means that it can still be sexy, but not in a lascivious, drooling way).

There are two identifiably sadomasochistic scenes in the film, and in one of them Keira Knightley appears topless, tied to the bed, and is spanked by Karl Jung. Knightley has spoken about these scenes a great deal and the British press has been making something of a fuss about it.

Keira Knight Spanked Topless.

Recently interviewed, Keira said the following to the Associated Press:

“I did think about turning it [the role] down because of the two scenes of a sadomasochistic nature and I thought it’s all going to come out and all of a sudden it’s all going to all be about that.

“And weirdly, apart from this country, it hasn’t been, so that’s been really great. In England it’s got mentioned all the time. I don’t know what that says about us. We obviously like spanking, I don’t know.”

Now, broadly speaking, Keira is right to say that in Britain, we do like spanking, but I fear that’s too simplistic an analysis. The reason why there’s noticeably more attention in Britain to the spanking scenes is because spanking is an unusually British tradition, more closely associated with our history than any other culture’s, especially when it’s exclusively disciplinary in nature.

The kama sutra pays great attention to how pain can be pleasurable (a full 4 chapters to that topic alone, if memory serves), and there are paintings on Greek and Roman walls depicting sexualised whipping and caning.

But institutionalised spanking and the sexualisation of spanking for discipline is more closely associated to British history than any other. Today of course, spanking and BDSM is worldwide and it’s not “owned” by any particular community, rightly so, and while corporal punishment was found in schools and military institutions across Europe, the sexualisation of that punishment is focussed most intensely in Britain, and it’s from Britain that this particular niche of spanking has been exported.

So although Keira correctly addresses that the fuss in Britain over her spanking scenes is more pronounced than it is anywhere else, it’s not simply because we like it. It’s because it’s more a part of us than it is anyone else.

The film A Dangerous Method is released this month. Check out, bring your thinking cap.

Model Required!

Posted on February 13, 2012 by Pechorin

We’re looking for a young submissive model based in the London area (or at least able to easily travel) to undertake some photographic work demonstrating BDSM products on our website.

There will be no nudity required and the modelling will mostly include restraints, ropes, spreader bars and ball gags – so you’ll need to be comfortable showing your face. If however you are more comfortable with nudity, then there’s a chance we could shoot some nipple clamps and spanking equipment, though that’s entirely at the model’s discretion and subject to discussion.

If you are interested, please leave a comment here and we’ll get back to you to arrange an informal meeting in a public place, to talk through the details and requirements and so you can meet the photographer before the shoot.

It will be a busy shoot but a lot of fun, with food and drink supplied and a relaxed atmosphere offered.

About You:
Ideally you will be over 18, of course, have a unique look and a fun-loving, positive attitude. In all honesty we won’t know our model until we find her, so we’re happy to consider all looks and styles. Feel free to get in touch and we will consider you; you don’t even need to label yourself as submissive, as long as you can pull the look off!

Thanks, we look forward to hearing from you very soon!

Erotic Meet – Dirty Words

Posted on February 6, 2012 by Pechorin

Working in the adult industry opens up all sorts of opportunities for naughty frivolity, and that’s why, last Friday night, I found myself sitting in a darkened bar in Soho as an emissary of Spanking.co.uk, listening to delightfully powerful filth being read to the crowd by a series of very talented men and women.

I was at the Erotic Meet, a regular social for creatively kinky artists, writers, muses, poets, musicians and miscreants. They’re such a warm and giggly bunch of folk that it’s almost impossible not be immediately disarmed. Conversation rolls from current projects to recommended reads, via some very naughty language indeed.

The Green Carnation is a great venue; just large enough to accommodate us all and just small enough to give it a close atmosphere.

It takes real nerve to stand in front of a microphone and read work so profoundly personal, and each of the readers did a great job. Each one unique, each one presenting a different voice and each one either searingly hot or endearingly human.

I can’t possibly list everyone I met – mainly for fear of leaving someone out and offending them. Just know that if you were there, it was fantastic to meet you.

Sex toys, courtesy of www.SexToys.co.uk!

If you weren’t there, you really missed out. There were sex toys being raffled, happy hour price drinks and the thoroughly good company of a friendly group of erotic creatives.

Go and join the Erotic Meet website and make sure you come along to the next event.

See you there!

Advice For First-Time Doms

Posted on February 3, 2012 by Pechorin

While there are exceptions, it’s common for the female partner in a relationship to initiate an interest in spanking rather than the male. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that women tend to be more attracted to submission than men are to domination, which often means that it’s the man in the relationship that quickly needs to educate himself on spanking since the woman has probably entertained spanking fantasies for some time before she expressed them and he probably hasn’t.

This leaves men at a disadvantage: women have played the fantasies out in their heads over and over again and have a relatively clear idea of what to expect, and as such there’s some pressure on the man to perform his dominant duties well – even though he’s brand new to the concept. He perhaps hasn’t fantasised about it before his partner communicated her desire for it, and to satisfy her desire for submission it takes more than a few nervous hand-slaps on her backside.

So how do you ‘become’ dominant, especially in cases in which the submissive partner has initiated the interest in kinkier play? Well, here are some tips and hints for Dominants new to Dominance.

Regarding your Behaviour:

She has given herself to you. Take it. Ensure she is safe and protected, but remember that she has submitted to you willingly – in exchange she wants you to dominate her totally. Take what you want from her and use her for your pleasure. She wants to serve you.

She trusts you enough to give up control of herself to you. Treat that trust with respect. If she says her safeword stop immediately, whatever you’re doing, because she may not want to stop completely. She might just need a break and her safeword is her only escape.

If she says her safeword, which she might when you’re just starting out, support her and make sure there’s no sense of shame attached to it. (A little, well-placed disappointment might go a long way though. Try to indicate that you’re disappointed that she said her safeword, but be understanding. This is so she will try harder not to disappoint you in future, but still won’t be ashamed of using her safeword.)

You might feel self-conscious in the early stages of your new dominance. That’s normal, but it’s also something you need to conceal. She’s looking for strength and confidence, so if you feel silly or if you don’t know what to say, say as little as possible. She’s projecting a huge amount of dominance onto you; play on that advantage: she will most likely take your silence as strength.

Another tip if you feel self-conscious: blindfold her. She’ll feel helpless which will make you seem far more powerful to her, and a lack of eye contact means she can’t challenge your dominance with her body language.

Regarding Punishment:

We will deal with delivering first-time spankings in detail elsewhere, but it’s important we touch on it at least briefly here. Your wife or girlfriend has perhaps asked you to spank her; how exactly do you do that?

A couple of things to keep in mind: have fun, and if you’re nervous, try to hide it. She’s seeking discipline, authority, power. If you’re concerned about how powerful you can appear for her and whether you can convincingly appear more assertive than you are naturally, blindfold her and don’t say too much.

As for the spanking itself, a good first time method is to sit on a sofa and pull her over your knee. Do everything slowly and deliberately.

Don’t be rushed. In fact, do everything deliberately at half speed; the vast majority of spankees hate the anticipation of a spanking at the time but look back fondly on it. It’s often the pauses they remember most vividly because it’s the pauses that make you seem most in control, and therefore more powerful.

Once she’s over your knee, raise her skirt or lower her trousers and rub the skin of her backside firmly. You want to bring some blood to the surface and invigorate the nerve endings. Once you notice her backside is blushing, she’s ready.

Rest your palm on one of her cheeks; she will automatically begin to brace herself. Depending on how she’s lying or kneeling, your spanking will be different – but the sensations are essentially the same. If she’s lying across your lap, then raise your hand vertically and bring it down firmly, and leave your hand where it made impact for a few seconds. If she’s kneeling with her backside pointing away from you, use a horizontal swing and deliver a glancing blow.

Of course, none of this is set in stone and you’ll find your own techniques anyway. Every spanker has a different style and every spankee responds in a different way, and the aftercare is every bit as important as the spanking itself. We’ll discuss this in detail soon, because it’s essential.

The most important thing to remember is to take the first time incredibly slowly. The first spanking is the most significant spanking you might ever give her, and the only way to make it go well is to do it slowly and quietly, with control.

Good luck, Sir.

The Flogger Blog – All the Flogger Information You Could Need

Posted on January 26, 2012 by Pechorin

Calling a spade a spade is all well and good, until you need a specific spade for a specific purpose; then you’ll need to learn what kind of spade is the best for your objective. The same is true of pretty much everything, including floggers. There are different types, styles, designs and sizes, and each variation is intended for a different purpose. Choosing one can be more difficult than a celebrity chef’s trip to the cheese isle at Tesco.

I just need to stress first there is no hard and fast categorisation system for floggers. There are no agreed regulations or set naming conventions, so please feel free to argue with this information in the comments section at the bottom. Hopefully we can reach consensus.

What Is A Flogger?

Let’s start with what usually defines a flogger. A flogger can be characterised as a hand-held tool consisting of a handle and multiple tails, used to delivery varying levels of sensations to a submissive in a spanking or BDSM scene. It’s the multiple tails that are important; that’s what really defines a flogger and makes it distinct from, say, a crop or a bullwhip.

I personally go a little more in depth and define a flogger by the way it’s used. A flogging is methodical, continuous and with momentum. A whipping on the other hand, generally consists of individual lashes while a spanking or a paddling consists of a number of short, sharp individual strokes.

I consider most kinds of Cat O Nine Tails, some knouts (if the tails are long), and even some birches as floggers, but don’t consider any implement with a single shaft to be a flogger, unless the single shaft splits into multiple tails and those tails are longer than the shaft.

Explanation of Flogger Terms

Here are the names of the constituent parts of any given flogger.

Handle

Quite simply, the part of the flogger that is held in the hand, and to which the tails connect. There are huge variations from flogger handle to handle: they can be bespoke, heavy, light, beautiful, fearsome, metal, leather, some swivel, some consist simple of fabric finger loops. The sky’s the limit.

Fall

The fall is the collective name given to all the tails together. For example, “this flogger has a 12 inch fall.”

Tail/Tails

This is how the individual strands of the fall are referred to. For example, “each of the tails in the fall is individually hand crafted.”

Stroke

How we usually refer to a single impact from a flogger. ‘Lash’ is also used, though it’s more common for lash to refer to a single impact from a whip.

Flogger

This can refer to the tool itself used to deliver the flogging, or to the person administering the flogging.

Florentine Flogging

Also known informally as ‘dual-wielding’, a Florentine Flogging involves two (usually identical) floggers, one in each hand, for faster flogging and twice the amount of strokes.

Fall Materials

We’ve already mentioned that the handles of floggers can be made of any number different materials. Well, the same is even truer of the tails. There are a huge number of different materials and combinations of materials, and each one has something unique to offer. Each one has its own characteristics and sensations.

Fur

Sometimes you’ll encounter a fur flogger. Unless you go to a real specialist, the fall will be made from faux fur. (A specialist will generally use rabbit fur.) Fur floggers are best for more sensual use, for being dragged indulgently over the recipient’s skin. It’s difficult to generate momentum but if you do, the contact will be more thuddy than stingy.

Horsehair

Made from real horsehair, this kind of flogger can help deliver a kind of scratchy feeling. If you’re accurate, then striking with the very tips of the hairs can deliver a gentle sting, which makes it great for more experienced users. A note though: if you’re looking for a stingy and scratchy horsehair flogger, opt for a narrower fall with less individual hairs: unusually, more hair and more weight actually prevent the generation of momentum in this instance.

Leather

This is probably the most common material for quality floggers, or at least it’s the material most commonly associated with flogging. There are a number of different types of leather for use in floggers; chamois is the lightest and softest and produces almost no sensation at all and latigo is by far the most intense and painful. Suede is one of the commonest leathers used for flogger manufacture, and we’ve dealt with that separately below.

Metal

Metal is a fascinating flogger material. Some floggers have a little metal in the tips of the tails to help generate momentum and increase the sting, and some have entirely metal falls. When they’re entirely metal, they’re usually metal beads strung together or it’s a chain. Metal produces a very heavy thuddy feel and should be used with extreme caution.

PVC

Thanks to sharp edges and an intermediate weight, PVC produces a very intense sting. It’s easy to leave long-lasting marks with a PVC flogger and in the right hands, it can be very sadistic. (Acrylic and other plastics are similar in performance, and often a little cheaper.)

Rope

Rope is traditional and somehow seems a little kinkier than other materials, though it’s usually not the thuddiest, the sting-iest or the itchiest. Frayed ends make for a gentler, more sensual feel while knotted ends can help be a little more severe.

Rubber/Latex

This is becoming increasingly popular because it delivers an extremely sharp sting with almost no effort. Longer falls can be very intense, combining thud and sting and a little itchiness all at the same time due to the coarse nature of the tails.

Suede

We’ve given suede its own section away from leather because suede is such a versatile and interesting flogger material. It’s very flexible, can be weighted differently, often has a smooth side to help it glide through the air and a rough side to deliver the impact, smells great, sounds great and hurts like hell. The sensation is usually thuddy, but if the tails are whipped so the tips make the impact or they wrap around on impact, they can really sting too.

Create A Slogan Competition

Posted on January 24, 2012 by Pechorin

Someone once said that if you steal ideas from one person it’s plagiarism, but if you steal ideas from a lot of people, it’s research. Therefore, we want to do some research.

Here’s the deal; we want to come up with a brand spanking new slogan for our brand spanking new spanking brand, and we want your help.

So we’re running a competition. Suggest a new slogan, leave it in the comments and if we like it we’re going to print it on a T-shirt and send you one. Fun, right?

There aren’t any limits to what you can say, just try to make it clever and related to spanking/kinkiness and try to make it, well, like a slogan. There’s no end date for this competition and no set amount of winners, so if you’re reading this in 2039 and have just had thought of a killer slogan, leave it in the comments and if T-shirts still exist in 2039, then you can win one.

So have a go. There’s no obligation for entering and it doesn’t cost anything. Here are a couple to set the tone and get the ball rolling.

Get caned.

No cane, no gain.

Love hurts, when you do it right.

More slap, less tickle.

And so on. I just know you can do better than that, and I can’t wait to see what you come up with. You know, in the name of research.

Beauty In Bondage

Posted on January 21, 2012 by Pechorin

There is beauty in bondage. I’ve sought to identify that beauty and showcase it. This is a photo essay of sorts, featuring extremely close up shots of bondage and spanking equipment. I really, truly encourage you to share these images. Retweet them. Steal them. Circulate them. I hope they encourage others to see the dramatic magnificence in the minutiae of bondage, and if you spot other photography similar to this or inspired by this, please leave a link in the comments because I would love to take a look.

The electrostim wartenberg wheel.

Getting closer...

This pinwheel will break your skin and insert electricity.

I adore the machining grooves.

The halo of this image is almost blasphemous, and that appeals.

It seems to look even scarier in black and white.

Leather looks amazing up close.

This is a section of very heavy duty rope. It leaves gorgeous burns.

"For pure sexy spanking". How could we not include this?

OUCH indeed. This buckle is at the centre of a rope hogtie.

Chainlinks on a collar.

This is suede, up close. Suede looks surreal under magnification, doesn't it? It looks like fire. Maybe that's why it burns so good on the skin.

This image shows the pink lace in some really sexy leather cuffs.

Leather and buckle.

This is an interesting one: a feather somehow became trapped in the velcro of an ankle restraint. There were no feathers and no velcro in the scene, and yet this occurred. Just one of those things.

Pearls and lace. This was lit with a torch from beneath a glass table.

This is my Arab Strap. It's too small so I wear it anyway, though I've never worn it in front of another person. There's a confession.

Here you can see the suede diving into a ball gag. Soak this picture up; it took me ages to get it right.

I grabbed this photo almost by accident and was very happy with it. It's actually part of a chain that joins the collar to the wristcuffs.

A swivel buckle.

This is it. This photo was the one I was striving for. This is my favourite photo out of all of them. One for the CV.

This picture is totally raw. Straight off the lens, apart from dropping the quality for bandwidth's sake. It's a pleasure when you know you can't make a photo better.

This photo is also almost raw off my lens. It's gorgeous, isn't it? It's from the back of a posture collar.

The central pivot on Japanese clover nipple clamps.

The most painful 'teeth' of any nipple clamp.

The wire shaft of the Spartacus crop.

Lelo Sensua Suede Flogger Review

Posted on January 20, 2012 by Pechorin

: The Lelo Sensua Suede Flogger

The chances are, if you’re on this site and you’re reading this (which you are), then you probably have a good idea who Lelo are and what they do. When I say ‘Lelo’, you’re probably put in mind of ergonomic curves, silky silicone and luxury vibrators. That is after all what they’re famous for. What you might not know is that Lelo have recently dipped their premium toe into the light bondage pool, and this is the result; it’s the Lelo Sensua suede flogger, and it’s a very gorgeous product indeed.

: The box. Sad and lonely.

Criticisms

First though, some immediate criticisms.

On the box, Lelo refer to this product as a whip. For purists like me and probably you, it’s not a whip. It’s a flogger. A whip is a whip, and it’s used for whipping. A flogger is a flogger, and it’s used for flogging. Since this flogger is potentially aimed at less experienced users maybe the distinction doesn’t matter, but for connoisseurs, it’s a bit of a confusing faux pas.

Next, the box itself. It’s tiny! It’s so small the flogger has to be put in it diagonally and the suede. Just check the unboxing video to get what I’m talking about.

Vital Statistics

Here’s all the boring stuff you might like to know, before we get on to the interesting stuff.

Total Length	14 inches
Tail Length	8.5 inches
Handle Length	5.5 inches
Tail Material	Luxury soft suede
Handle Material	Acrylic and metal
Manufacturer	Lelo
Model	Sensua
Colours Available	Red, black, purple

Size Matters

Let’s talk about the size of the Lelo Sensua flogger. It’s small. I was a little stunned when I opened the Royal Mail Special Delivery box; it was like Russian Doll. Smaller and smaller boxes. It’s not the smallest flogger in my personal collection, and it’s not even the smallest flogger on the shelves here at Spanking.co.uk, but it is noticeably small. And when it comes to spanking, size and weight matter – the more experienced you are, the more bigger the flogger and the more weight you tend to crave. This begs the question…

So Who’s It For?

The Lelo Sunsua whip is certainly not for hardened fetishists. If you arrived at a fetish club, strapped your sub naked to a spanking horse, and then produced this flogger, you might be met with the sound of stifled laughter.

But that’s fine, because that was never what this flogger was intended for. The Lelo Sensua is designed – like all of Lelo’s other products and sex toys – for couples. This is not a hardcore spanking toy. It’s a luxury teasering flogger for the bedroom, and I can’t help finding that refreshing. It takes me back to my early days as a sadistic miscreant, to those days when I was never sure how much pain I could inflict, when I used to hold back.

There’s romance in that: in the BDSM community everything is leather and extremes and pain and challenge, but the Lelo Sensua is about closeness and intimacy, it’s about playful couples and pleasure. It’s about gentle experimentation with luxury materials, and for that, it’s the absolute best of the best.

: Suede tails, up close and personal.

In The Hand

There’s no doubt that the cool acrylic and the heavy metal of the handle feel great in the hand, and the ball at the hilt helps to provide a little more grip. I actually found that the best way use the flogger was to grip the ball between my thumb and forefinger and turn my wrist, almost like screwing in a lightbulb really quickly.

That’s because I’m used to a larger flogger, in which the tails outweigh the handle. In the Lelo Sensua flogger, the handle is heavier than the tails, so it’s harder to generate the momentum necessary to really inflict some lasting discipline. But again, that’s not the point of this flogger.

As a side note, it smells absolutely gorgeous. Really, it’s addictive. I’m writing this review with the flogger sat on my shoulder, sniffing it from time to time. It’s like catnip.

On The Flesh

This is what really matters, isn’t it? How does it feel on bare skin? Well, for a hardened masochistic spankee, it will only barely sting enough to get the endorphins coursing through your veins. But for those new to spanking, flogging and BDSM, it really feels incredible.

I used this flogger to warm my own spankee up for a more vigorous session by blindfolding her and using it on the bare skin of her breasts, and she reported that it was perfectly weighted for such activity. She told me it felt soft and warm, the perfect way to ease into more destructive, violent or painful floggers.

She told me that the best impacts were not when the tips alone made contact (as I had assumed would feel best), but when the whole tail made contact, starting near the handle and then wrapping around so the tail tips crack the skin.

The Lelo Sensua is too light to spin up, like a heavier flogger. Instead, it’s based when your partner is blindfolded and the strokes are accurate, with long seconds between impacts.

: The Lelo tag attached to the tails.

Is It Worth The Money?

The Lelo Sensua flogger is on sale at Spanking.co.uk for £28.95 at the time of writing and, let’s face it, that’s not cheap. It’s not the most expensive flogger out there, but it certainly carries that premium price tag that characterises Lelo products. So is it worth it?

Yes, I really think it is. It has been designed, developed and manufactured by Lelo, a company that built its reputation on quality, and it has ‘Lelo’ stamped right into the handle to prove it. The build quality is superb, and the quality of the suede is simply unmatched. It’s softer than any suede flogger I’ve yet encountered – and that’s good, because if you want sharp or firm, you turn to PVC or leather.

Yes, occasionally a tail will snap and you’ll find it under the bed a few days later. But that’s true of any flogger; flogger tails break and that’s inevitable. What’s important is how good it feels while it’s being used, and this flogger really is a delight. Also, the hand has a feel of genuine quality; I’ve noticed that manufacturers of suede floggers have a habit of wrapping the handles in suede too, and it tends to come loose. That doesn’t happen with the Lelo Sensua; it’s very sturdy.

: The Lelo stamp, right in the handle.

Conclusion

To sum up, for beginners to spanking and kink, this is one of the best floggers money can buy. I know I sniped about the packaging at the start, but that only helps it become a gorgeous gift. The quality is great, it retains the luxurious feel of Lelo’s other premium products and while it’s not cheap, it’s also not the most expensive flogger on the market.

If you’re looking for romance rather than kink, this is truly ideal.

: Where the suede tails join the metal handle.

What Does A Dom Get Out Of Spanking?

Posted on January 15, 2012 by Pechorin

In BDSM literature and discussion, there seems to be a lot of focus on the recipient of a spanking, rather than the provider of it. This is rightly so; generally speaking a spanking is more about the sub than the dom. But that doesn’t mean the dominant partner is getting nothing out of it; in fact the opposite is true – the dom is getting an awful lot out of it. A spanking is not simply a service that a dom mindlessly provides; it’s just as emotionally charged for the top as it is for the bottom, but it’s rarely discussed from the dom’s perspective.

I’d like to go into this a little bit today. So what does a dom get out of spanking?

Disclaimer: I can only answer this question from my own experience and from what I’ve gleaned from other disciplinarians. As with every other aspect of sex and sexuality, you might not wholly agree with everything you read here because sex and kink are highly personal, and therefore highly subjective. Feel free to leave any counter arguments or contradictory experiences in the comments.

Delivering a spanking is more than putting a submissive partner over your knee and smacking them, and just as a sub can crave a spanking while their dom is away, so too can a dom experience a desire to spank their sub when they’re apart. This is an absolutely real phenomenon that I personally experience regularly, to the point where I had to install a punchbag in my flat for the sake of catharsis. (I don’t mean to compare my submissive partner with a punchbag of course, but a sadistic dom has an urge to inflict pain, and that urge can be difficult to manage. Sometimes the valve needs to opened and some pressure released, hence the punchbag.)

Is Spanking a Sexual Act?

If I’m absolutely honest, if I were spanking you there wide be a broad grin on my face and a lump in my trousers, because spanking is an out-and-out sexual act for me. There are plenty of very patient dominant men out there who might not regard a spanking as overtly sexual and consider it simply discipline, with very little or no sexual overtones. That’s fine. For me though, it is a sexual act and providing a spanking is tantamount to masturbation. Sexual pleasure, then, is one of the biggest positives a dom can get from delivering a spanking – it really is that simple in my case. I’m sexually aroused by inflicting pain as are all sadistic doms; therefore, the infliction of pain is as sexually pleasurable as sex itself.

Also, there is a potent feeling of power, and that feeling of power is very attractive. I find the more vulnerable, immobilised and helpless my submissive partner is, the stronger and more powerful I feel. When we hug before we sleep, we are totally equal and absolutely respectful. When she’s tied by the wrists and ankles over a chair, gagged and blindfolded, her bare backside in the air and her body shaking with anticipation, I feel overwhelmed with power. I am utterly responsible for her, and with each painful stroke I deliver, the responsibility mounts, and with it the sadistic thrill mounts, of pushing her – and myself – as far as we dare. In this sense, power and responsibility are one and the same, they’re separate but identical parts of a larger mechanism. While she’s at my mercy I am utterly responsible for her, and the sensation of responsibility breeds a sense of power. The more powerful I become, the more responsible I am for her, and the more responsible I am the more power I have over her. It’s an accelerating chain reaction that can only be curbed by an even more potent type of power: the power to control one’s own power.

Spanking Is A Beautiful Duet

A good spanker will be closely attuned to his recipient’s bodily responses. There comes a sense of pride when you’re ‘in the groove’, when you can tell how to spank your sub without really thinking about it, in a way that satisfies you both fully. When you’re getting it right, when your smacks are absolutely accurate and the room rings with the sound of a sharp impact on every stroke, there is pride. It’s like playing an instrument; I play a little piano, and I know how good it feels to finish a complex arrangement with no mistakes, no missed notes, no late cues. Spanking offers that same satisfying pleasure, and when you and your partner are in tune, it makes for a beautiful duet.

I derive a strange pleasure from challenging myself too. Despite how I might come across here and despite how contradictory this might sound at first, I actually consider myself a very compassionate man. Overriding my compassion for my submissive partner is something I enjoy, and I adore the complex broth of emotions I go through as I put my partner through increasing amounts of pain. I enjoy the contradiction of sympathy and sadism, affection and aggression, lust and love, empathy and apathy. I never try to reconcile these conflicting emotions anymore; now I embrace the bizarre fusion of feelings they offer, and I enjoy the feeling of confliction.

What about you? As a dom, what do you enjoy most about spanking?